There’s a monster in your heart — screaming out to me, flirting with me, shooting flares through your eyes when it thinks you’re not looking. But I see it. I feel it. I hear it. I know it’s there. It’s a large, agonizing mess of millions of long sticky black threads. There’s a thread of self-doubt, of self-loathing, of self-punishment. A thread for flesh wounds, for emotional wounds, for intellectual ones. There’s a thread for each of the harsh words someone has spoken to you. For all of the relationships that started so hopefully, but didn’t work out. One for each time you shut down instead of opening up. A long one for the times you thought you were “right” but “failed” anyway. A whole bundle dedicated to not feeling heard. Another created by feeling misunderstood. A whole sub-section devoted to fear. This sticky, black mass is sneaky and stealthful, trying to shame you, trying to convince you that it’s not normal, natural, or even necessary to have this kind of darkness inside you. But it is! It’s part of you! Embrace your darkness — just don’t let it take over. Ignore its hungry cries for more fuel. It only wants to make a bigger wall around your heart. Instead, cut away a few loose ends, trim back a few strings, untangle a whole unneeded section. Give yourself some breathing room and let your heart shine through!
— heidi kalyani, 2016
from the *nothing is black and white* project: illustration created out of meditation with a single unbroken line