breaking open


Today I am a volcano. I am spewing energy, like lava, all over everything. I already set my house on fire. Now I’m making my way through the woods, sparking powerful jolts of flame with every footfall. I leave burn marks on the road. I evaporate puddles from last night’s rain. I overheat the air, causing insects to rise higher to escape me. I am heading for the water, where I hope to temporarily contain my eruptions by throwing myself in. I need a pause in the intensity and speed of these sensations, these revelations. Like this, I’m burning a millennium of fuel every microsecond. Khalil Gibran wrote, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” My shell is broken. And understanding is beginning to illuminate everything.

— heidi kalyani, 2016
from the *nothing is black and white* project: illustration created out of meditation with a single unbroken line