“You were wild once, don’t let them tame you.” I’ve loved those words by Isadora Duncan ever since I was young. And for a long time I lived by them, unleashing my untamedness on an unsuspecting world. “You seem so sweet and innocent,” everyone said, and then *wham*, I’d laugh and spin and drop a bundle of raw, unflinching honesty that shook people out of their complacency and rendered them speechless, yet impassioned. But what happened to that dynamic, energetic world-changer? That barefoot dancer? That confident soul-speaker? When did the flirting stop? The breathing become shallow and thin? The voice barely loud enough to be heard? When I allowed myself to be beaten down by criticism, to shrink into society’s comfort zone, to embody other people’s fear. For a time, I snuggled into a tiny hole and hid beneath a false sense of safety and ease. I thought, “If I don’t talk, no one will berate me, tell me I’m crazy, try to change me.” But ultimately, hiding is not the real me — I’m a social being and very fond of fresh air — so I’m climbing out of my cave, re-entering the world and birthing what I’m hoping, this time, is an untameable wildness!
— heidi kalyani, 2016
from the *nothing is black and white* project: illustration created out of meditation with a single unbroken line